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My journey with mental health awareness has been deeply personal, intense, and transformative. After 18 years in an industry that shaped "traditional" beauty standards—often in harmful, toxic ways—I found myself facing a new reality: falling out of love with makeup. The very outlet that brought light to my darkest seasons, became my darkest season, and there was no outlet. There wasn't light. Social media slowly distorted real self-expression and authenticity into false expectations and conditional influence.
Raising two incredible neurodivergent children and navigating my own mental health challenges, I became committed to continuous learning, growth, and understanding of how uniquely we all experience the world. It troubled me how little mental health education is available to the public, how seldom mindfulness is discussed in schools or the workplace, how misunderstood so many children who are struggling in school are because they need more support, but the support isn't available, and how access to mental health care remains a privilege rather than a human right. Post-pandemic, with empathy, compassion, and kindness rapidly diminishing, we’ve seriously undervalued real, authentic connection and communication.
Back in late 2022, life took a sharp turn. After a car accident with my family, losing my grandmother, and supporting my husband through emergency surgery, I realized I wasn’t okay. Competing in an environment that now seemingly prioritized shock over substance, no longer aligned with who I was or what I was meant to do. While makeup had always been a passion, I knew it couldn’t heal the deeper struggles so many of us face.
That February 2023, I graduated with a bachelor's degree in business and immediately enrolled in a Master’s program for Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Deep down, I always knew my purpose was to help people. My work with makeup was so fulfilling, but it wasn't the products that made me want do it, it was the people I got to teach and help...it was all of YOU! And I knew I needed to do more—something that could help others navigate their own mental health struggles.
At Elli J. Beauty, my mission was always to create a space where everyone feels seen, valued, and appreciated—where beauty was about feeling good in your own skin. But over time, the pressure of social media for visibility, likes, and sales just to survive became overwhelming. Every scroll being littered with quick cash grabs, sale slogans, duplicate stores, wasteful viral trends, and bully behavior from adults and parents, I began to feel slowly disconnected from it all. I think it was to protect myself, from feeling helpless.
Running Elli J. Beauty alone, while working on my degree and being present for my family, I began to break under the pressure. Social media’s constant loop—tragedy competing with nonsense virality, cries for help overshadowed by shopping hauls, and cyberbullying drowning out genuine connection—made it harder and harder to show up. If I wasn't physically showing up, my business was suffering, and financially I was drowning... Then, I shattered, trying to keep everything together. I stayed feeling shattered for months.. until I realized: what shattered wasn’t me—it was the unrealistic expectations and the version of myself I thought I had to be for so long, that I was simply too depleted to be any longer. Hence why you have not seen my face in quite some time.
Now, I’m focused on rebuilding a new foundation—one rooted in self-compassion, positivity, and mental health awareness. My dream is to create a space where people can find tools to support their mental health, cultivate self-love and self-compassion, and embrace self-care, both physically and mentally.
When I shared that I would be closing Elli J. Beauty, the outpouring of support from this community was overwhelming, and I am endlessly grateful. If you’d like to support the next chapter, you can join our free email list for updates to stay connected for what is next, or make a Spicy Brain Supporter Donation by selecting one of the donation tiers on this page, to help us close this chapter and ease the financial stressors to support my family. I know everyone is facing hardships in their owns ways so I don't want anyone to feel pressure to donate. Your kindness is plenty appreciated!
Your love and support mean everything, and I’m committed to continuing this journey with you—spreading awareness, compassion, and acceptance for mental health, because every brain deserves to be celebrated.
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